what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
