Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
