remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
