i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
