I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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