i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
