Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
