he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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