i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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