Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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