dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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