Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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