I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
