Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Randomize
