make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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