i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need a burrito and a hug.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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