What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
