Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
