Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
