i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
