It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
