yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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