So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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