My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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