well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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