life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
