have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
