There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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