i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
