Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We got so high we made milksteak
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
