you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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