fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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