So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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