I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
A+ Viking dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
