508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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