Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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