awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
