grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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