i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
