she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize
