how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
