Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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