So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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