My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
