We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
