Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
