I need help removing her.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
