Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
