You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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