life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
